Brandy's Story - You Are Not Alone & Where to Turn

im 16 my name is brandy and im a sophmore in high school.
ok well there are two stories all having to with a different kind of abuse. heres the first one.

well im 7 yrs old taking care of a younger brother and sister, my dad or step mom cant help out because theyre too busy shooting up heroin and smoking crack to know whats going on with their own children. our financial stasus has gone down the drain and being 7 taking care of two kids two dogs a million cats and my parents was really hard so naturally i thought it was great when my older step brother and sister came to visit, until a game of hide and seek. youre thingking what does hide and seek have to do with anything but i hid in the closet and my step brother found me. when i tried to walk out the door to couldnt he blocked the door and wouldnt let me out, this kinda freaked me out but he just said he wanted to talk to me about something important so i didnt mind it. well until he starte felling on me. i got freaked out and told him to leave me alone, well gee imagine this he didnt. he began to un-zip his pants and i asked him what the hell he was doing(i had a pretty dirty mouth at the age of 7 didnt i?)he said he wanted to teach me some thing and grabbed my head and tried to make me suck his "equipment". well when i wouldnt and this pissed him off and he began to do things i couldnt put up a fight to (he was like 10 yrs older and in the army). no matter how much i tried and cried he wouldnt stop. when he finally finished he threatened my life telling me if i told anyone he would kill me and my sister (she was my best friend at the time). when he left i was a total wreck but i cheered myself up by telling myself that it would never happen again and i could keep it from happening along with a really long bath. well i was definently wrong, every other weekend it was the same old story he would come into my room and i guess you could say test out his skills with women on me. finally about three years of this and me saying nothing my grandmother found out that my dad wasnt using all the money he was getting from her for doctor bills, he was buying drugs so she immeadiately moved us out of there and took us to live with her. i havent seen my older brother since then and i have told my closest and only my closest friends about this....until now. well thats the first story and ill send you the second one a little later (scroll down) youll have to let me chill out write a poem or two thats usually what i do when i get to thinking about him. thanks for reading my story l8rz

but heres my other story.

o.k. im 14 and i dont want to go to the high school that i would end up going to so i move in with my grandma. well just put it this way all grandmas arent milk and cookies. everyday for the past two years all i seem to hear is "why cant you be more like your sister". "you dress like a freak, your pants are too baggy" "your a slob"etc. actually im a pretty neat person i just take the wrap for my sister and cousin because she expects me to get in trouble(just because of the way i dress. shes a very predjudice person and its really hard to please her). well i leave one sock out and ahe freaks out yelling at me so i asked her very calmly "would you like me to pick it up?" and she goes ballistic next thing i know i cant breathe she's got her hands tightly wrapped around my neck, im thinking ok ive moved into a psychopaths house. after this incident i was really ticked and she knew it so she asks me if i want to play a game like nothing ever happened and when i tell her no she starts giving me a long lecture that i didnt listen to(come on you wouldnt either she goes on for hours and repeats herself millions of times). i figured its not gonna happen again if i tell my mom and i did, you know what she tells me" thats just the way she is give her what she wants and you wont get hurt" im thinking great now i have to change my personality and everything about me just to keep her from strangling me. well no matter how hard i tried to please her nothing changed and eventually my sister was just as imperfect as i was and she was being strangled too. i had it worse though cuz i would get mad at her for doing that to my sister and then i would get it. i cant help it if i stand up for what i think is right, and what she was doing definently wasnt right, and i let her know that, i guess she didnt like that. one occasion i remember very clearly i didnt hear one certain thing she says and goes ranting and raving that i have to get a hearing aid. i told her i wasnt getting a hearing aid and she freaks out. this time i wasnt going to let her get her hands on me so i tried to block her hands from my throat. bad move she yells "you want a fight you got one" and picks up something and hits me over the head with it. i swore to myself that day that i was running away, but i knew i wouldnt, i had nowhere to go. my mom wouldnt even take me in she says i live two apartments away theres no point. but my mom did talk to my grandma and her behavior has stopped. well for now anywayz. ok that was my second story and yeah it is kinda long but whoa it felt good to get all that out well take carez PLUR **Stardust** (Brandy)